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Paper 1 feedback - The Holgate Academy

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Paper 2 feedbackAs we go through, on a piece of paper, write down every tip/error for each question to use as revision.Keep this piece of paper with the exam!
Language Mock 2 exam feedback
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Paper 2 Writers’ viewpoints andperspectivesThe two sources that follow are:Source A: 21st Century non-fictionHowcan my son be a year old already?By Stuart HeritageAnewspaper article fromThe Guardiannewspaper published in 2016.Source B: 19thCentury literary non-fictionBoy LostAnextract from a Victorian newspaper in which a mother writes about her son..
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He had black eyes, with long lashes, red cheeks, and hair almost black and almost curly. He wore a crimson plaid jacket, with full trousers buttoned on, had a habit of whistling, and liked to ask questions. He was accompanied by a small black dog.It is a long while now since he disappeared.Ihave a very pleasant house and much company. My guests say, ‘Ah, it is pleasant to behere!Everythinghas such an orderly, put-away look – nothing about under foot, no dirt!’ But my eyes are aching for the sight of cut paper upon the floor; of tumbled-down card-houses; of wooden sheep and cattle; of pop-guns, bows and arrows, whips, tops and go-carts. I want to see crumbs on the carpet, and paste spilt on the kitchen table. I want to see the chairs andtablesturnedthe wrong way about; yet these things used to fret me once.They say, ‘How quiet you are here; ah, one here may be at peace.’ But my ears are aching for the pattering of little feet; for a hearty shout, a shrill whistle, for the crack of little whips, for the noise of drums and tin trumpets; yet these things made me nervous once.They say – ‘Ah, you are not tied at home. How delightful to be always at liberty forconcerts,lectures, and parties! No responsibilities for you.’ But I want responsibilities; I want to listen for the school bell of mornings; to give the last hasty wash and brush, and then to watch from the window nimble feet bounding away to school. I want to replace lost buttons and obliterate mud stains, fruit stains, treacle stains, and paints of allcolours. I want to be sitting by a little crib of evenings, when weary little feet are at rest, and prattling voices are hushed, that mothersmaysingtheir lullabies. They don’t know their happiness then – those mothers. I didn’t. AllthesethingsI called responsibilities once.A manly figure stands before me now. He is taller than I, has thick black whiskers, and wears a frock coat, billowy shirt, and cravat. He has just come from college. He calls me mother, but I am rather unwilling to own him. He stoutly declares that he is my boy, and says he will proveit.Hebrings me his little boat to show the red stripe on the sail, and the name on the stern – ‘Lucy Lowe’ – ourneighbour’slittle girl who, because of her long curls, and pretty round face, was the chosenfavouriteof my little boy. How the red comes to his face when he shows me the name on the boat!And I see it all as plain as if it were written in a book. My little boy is lost, and my big boywillsoonbe. I wish he were still a little boy in a long white night gown, lying in his crib, with me sitting by, holding his hand in mine, pushing the curls back from his forehead, watching his eyelids droop, and listening to his deep breathing. If I only had my little boy again, how patient I would be! How much I would bear, and how little I would fret and scold! I can never have him back again; but there are still many mothers who haven’t yet lost their little boys. I wonderiftheyknow they are living their very best days; that now is the time to really enjoy their children!Ithink if I had been more to my little boy I might now be more to my grown up one.
Language Mock exam feedback
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As a class, youdidworse onpaper 2,sosame rules apply….
Exam step 1Read the source once, carefully!Exam step 2Read the sourceagain, this time, marking on theside:Whathappens in each section (a section may be 2 lines, or 20. Look for changes in time / place / tone or character)Emotions experienced by the characterTechniques the author uses and IMPACT on readers
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I know this seems like you will be wasting valuable time, but I 100% believe that an extra 5 minutes spent here will have a dramatic impact on your marks later on!
WET
Obviously you need to do this twice for this paper
My son turned one last week. The day marked the end of what has been both the longest and shortest year of my life. From the instant he was born, it’s felt as if my son has always been part ofthis family. I don’t mean that in an obnoxious, heart-eyed, this-was-always-meant-to-be way.I simply mean that I haven’t slept for a year and I don’t really know how time works any more. Whole years have passed in some of the afternoons I’vespent with him lately. Entire galaxies have beenborn and thrived and withered and died in the time it’s taken him to eat a mouthful of porridge.How is he one already? First he was born, and then I blinked, and now in his place is a little boy who can walk and has teeth and knows how to switch off the television atprecisely the most important moment of anything I ever try to watch. It’s not exactly the most unprecedented development in all of human history – child gradually gets older – butit’s the first time I’ve seen it close up. It’s honestly quite hard to grasp.
What annotations should we write?
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Exam step 2What happens in each section (a section may be 2 lines, or 20. Look for changes in time / place / tone or character)Emotions experienced by the characterTechniques the author uses and IMPACT onreaders
QUESTION 1Readagain the first part ofSource A lines 1 to 17.Choosefourstatements below which are TRUE.A, The writer’s son has just had his second birthday.B. It took a while for the writer to feel close to his son after he was born.C. The writer has not slept very well over the last year.D. It takes a long time for the boy to eat his porridge.E. The writer thinks that his son has grown quickly.F. The boy has not yet learned to walk.G. The writer’s son knows how to switch off the television.H. The writer finds it easy to grasp the idea of his son getting older.[4 marks]
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Top tips
Get your answers from the right lines!Read them carefully – some will be absolute “falses”. Then work from there.Make sure you do actually re-read the lines you’re directed to – don’t just go from memory!
Language Mock exam feedback
Know – what went wrong!Understand – how to move forwards!Be able to – Make improvements!
QUESTION 1Readagain the first part ofSource A lines 1 to 17.Choosefourstatements below which are TRUE.A, The writer’s son has just had his second birthday.B. It took a while for the writer to feel close to his son after he was born.C. The writer has not slept very well over the last year.D. It takes a long time for the boy to eat his porridge.E. The writer thinks that his son has grown quickly.F. The boy has not yet learned to walk.G. The writer’s son knows how to switch off the television.H. The writer finds it easy to grasp the idea of his son getting older.[4 marks]
Language Mock exam feedback
Know – what went wrong!Understand – how to move forwards!Be able to – Make improvements!
4 minutes
Language Mock exam feedback
Know – what went wrong!Understand – how to move forwards!Be able to – Make improvements!
QUESTION 2-Youneed to refer toSource A and Source Bfor this question:Theways the boys spend their time playing as young children is different.Usedetails from both sources to write a summary of the different activities the boy in Source A and the boy in Source B enjoyed when he was young.[8 marks]
Top tips
By now, you will have written next to the section what is happening in it and what the tone is (ie; what the boys are doing in each section).You therefore ought to be able to just look at these notes to find the bits you need to refer to for what the boys play with / how they play.You must answer the question! The key words werespend their time playingbut some of you wrote about what the boys were like, or what their relationships were like with their parents.This would not score you any points!You MUST cross reference. The examiner is looking forCOMPARISON– without it, you will lose easy marks here.You may need to make slight adjustments / inferences about the question. In this exam, Source B was easy, because it listed things he played with very specifically. However, in source A the boy is just a baby, so his playing is more imagined – you needed to reference his activities.This comes from the EXAM BOARD REPORT for this question;Good responsesincluded those where studentsidentified a differencebetween the activities,selected appropriate textual detailfrom one text andinferred some meaning, beforeturning to the other text, selecting anothertextual detailandinferring something about the difference between both texts. Where this approach was repeated with asecond difference, students were well-rewarded, according to the level of detail they offered and whether the quality of their comments was an attempt, clear or perceptive.This is EXACTLY what we have told you to do –SEI C SEI x 2.P2, Q2 will ALWAYS be content based.You will need to look for quite a small amount of content from the whole source
Language Mock exam feedback
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The average mark on this question was3out of 8
Language Mock exam feedback
Know – what went wrong!Understand – how to move forwards!Be able to – Make improvements!
A model paragraph-In source A the boy is excitable and loves attention – “he’s giddy and silly”. His entertainment comes from being with his family, “running up to people” and trying to make them laugh. On the other hand, the boy is source B enjoyed playing independently with “paper” and “go-carts”. He plays on his own, a fact which his mother looks back on with some regret.
Language Mock exam feedback
Know – what went wrong!Understand – how to move forwards!Be able to – Make improvements!
QUESTION 2-Youneed to refer toSource A and Source Bfor this question:Theways the boys spend their time playing as young children is different.Usedetails from both sources to write a summary of the different activities the boy in Source A and the boy in Source B enjoyed when he was young.[8 marks]
8 minutes
2 X x STATEMENT, EVIDENCE, INFERENCE, COMPARISON, STATEMENT, EVIDENCE, INFERENCE
Language Mock exam feedback
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QUESTION 3- Younow need to referonlytoSource A from lines 18 to 28.Howdoes the writer use language to describe hisson?[12 marks]
Ayear ago, he was a sleepy ball of scrunched-up flesh, but is now determinedly his own person. I can see everyone in him – me, my wife, my parents – yet he’s alreadyseparatefromall of us. He’s giddy and silly. He’s a show-off, albeit one who’s irrationally terrifiedof mydad. He loves running up to people and waiting for them to twang his lips like a ruler on a table. When he gets tired and barks gibberish in the middle of the room, he throws his entire body into it, like he’s trying to shove the noise up a hill.With every tiny development – every new step he takes, every new tooth and soundand reactionthat comes along to ambush us – we’re confronted with a slightly different child.Photos of him taken in the summer seem like dispatches from a million years ago. Photos of him taken last week seem like a different boy. He’s blasting ahead as far as he can.He’s leavingmilestone after milestone in his wake and tiny parts of me along with them.
Language Mock exam feedback
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By now, you will have written next to the section what is happening in it and what the toneis. Therefore, you should have a very clear idea what the required section is about before you even begin to look at the language specifically.Make sure you look at the correct bit of the text ONLY!Thebullet points are optional. The use of the word ‘could’ means you do not have to cover all of them! Indeed, we recommend NOT trying to cover ‘sentence forms’.Your responses do not HAVE to be techniques!It could be just an analysis of a particular word or phrase.Those who just said“there is a metaphor ofasleepy ball of scrunched-upflesh”would not score highly. The marks come fromshowingwhat that tells us about him or his father’s feelings about him.eg”thisshows that he was very newly born, without any distinguishing features and that his father has this endearing memory of him.”The important thing is to talk about the effect on the reader OR the writer’s intentions in using certain language.Avoid generic “it paints a picture in our heads” or “it makes us feel asthe fatherfelt”. These are SIMPLE comments, worthy only of level 1. Examiners hate these comments!The exam board fed back that the best responses to this questionexploredin detailtheeffect of specific words andphrases.Ie; do not just technique spot!!
The average mark on this question was 5 out of 12
Top tips
Language Mock exam feedback
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A model paragraph-The writer uses powerful verbs to show how much the child is affecting the family; “ambush us”, “confronted by” and “he’s blasting” all show the power that the boy has over his family. These verbs also replicate the sense that time is passing very quickly as well, as everything he does is strong and speedy. However, the father is clearly proud of these acts, as the positive tone shows that he is impressed by how much the boy is changing and how dramatically he has impacted on their lives.
Language Mock exam feedback
Know – what went wrong!Understand – how to move forwards!Be able to – Make improvements!
QUESTION 3- Younow need to referonlytoSource A from lines 18 to 28.Howdoes the writer use language to describe hisson?[12 marks]
Ayear ago, he was a sleepy ball of scrunched-up flesh, but is now determinedly his own person. I can see everyone in him – me, my wife, my parents – yet he’s alreadyseparatefromall of us. He’s giddy and silly. He’s a show-off, albeit one who’s irrationally terrifiedof mydad. He loves running up to people and waiting for them to twang his lips like a ruler on a table. When he gets tired and barks gibberish in the middle of the room, he throws his entire body into it, like he’s trying to shove the noise up a hill.With every tiny development – every new step he takes, every new tooth and soundand reactionthat comes along to ambush us – we’re confronted with a slightly different child.Photos of him taken in the summer seem like dispatches from a million years ago. Photos of him taken last week seem like a different boy. He’s blasting ahead as far as he can.He’s leavingmilestone after milestone in his wake and tiny parts of me along with them.
12 minutes
3 x FULL analysis – POINT, EVIDENCE, ANALYSIS, CLOSE ANALYSIS, EFFECT ON READEROR5-6 x STATEMENT, EVIDENCE, IMPACT
Language Mock exam feedback
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QUESTION 4- Forthis question, you need to refer to thewhole of Source Atogether with thewhole of Source B.Comparehow the writers have conveyed their different perspectives and feelings about their children growing up.In your answer, you could:• compare their different perspectives and feelings• compare the methods they use to convey those different perspectives and feelings• support your response with references to both texts.[16 marks]
Top tips
By now, you will have written next to each section what is happening in it and what the tone is. Therefore, you should easily be able to identify where the different emotions are mentioned.You MUST discussmethodsused to convey the different emotions – not just what the emotions are.Many of you dealt well with how their feelings differed, but lost marks on how the feelings were expressed.A few of you picked up on the more negative tone of source B but translated this into a lack of love from the mother, which was not true. Because you had not read the text fully and repeatedly, you missed the more subtle nuances in the text.Steal some of your ideas from the language question if you can.On your second SEI, refer back to source A if you can.
Language Mock exam feedback
Know – what went wrong!Understand – how to move forwards!Be able to – Make improvements!
The average mark on this question was 7 out of 16
Language Mock exam feedback
Know – what went wrong!Understand – how to move forwards!Be able to – Make improvements!
A model paragraph-In source A the writer shows that although it is heart breaking for him, he is beginning to accept that his son will grow up one day; “But I’ve had a year of this and it’s okay” suggests that he is going tosavoureach memory and remember each of his young boy’s antics because he can’t stop time from passing but he can treasure those memories forever. The use of the connective “but” shows that, although it has been hard, he is slowly coming to terms with the loss he has already faced and that, although it hurts, it will all work out. However, in source B, we finallyrealisethe feelings that the mother is feeling about her child growing old; “I think if I had been more to my little boy I might now be more to my grown up one”. This shows that this poor mother blames herself for the aching changes in her son – she regrets not playing with him and bonding with him and feels like she wasted her chance to connect with her son. The repetition of the idea that she can ‘be’ something to her son, magnifies the feeling that she has failed him in some way. This is very different to the first source as the father is doing everything he can to build memories of his son, and strong bonds with him.
Language Mock exam feedback
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QUESTION 4- Forthis question, you need to refer to thewhole of Source Atogether with thewhole of Source B.Comparehow the writers have conveyed their different perspectives and feelings about their children growing up.In your answer, you could:• compare their different perspectives and feelings• compare the methods they use to convey those different perspectives and feelings• support your response with references to both texts.[16 marks]
20 minutes
3-4 x STATEMENT, EVIDENCE, ANALYSIS OF METHOD, COMPARISON, STATEMENT, EVIDENCE, ANALYSIS OF METHOD
Language Mock exam feedback
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QUESTION 5-‘Parents today are over-protective. They should let their children take part in adventurous, even risky, activities to prepare them for later life.’Write a letter for a broadsheet newspaper in which you argue for or against this statement.(24 marks for content and organization, 16 marks for technical accuracy)[40marks]
Top tips
Two of you did not include paragraphs. No matter how good your work, you can not get more than 3/24 without them! Argh.Write a plan! This will keep you focused and ensure that you do not head into narrative.Quality not quantity counts here! You don’t need to write pages. In fact, on this question, you are more likely to lose focus and switch in tone if you write too much!Think about ISAFOREST but do not be restricted by it! (the exam board stated that in this task the use of statistics and ‘expert’ opinion was actually unhelpful, so be careful with these!Craft sentences to vary length, starter words and style.Leave enough time for this question – it is 50% of the paper grade and 25% of your overall English Language grade.Those of you who chose to write against young people’s freedom generally found it more difficult to create and maintain an appropriate tone (anger is easier to sustain that understanding!)We are going to trial you STARTING with this question in the next mock – giving you the full 45 minutes to write and allowing your ideas to be fresh!
Language Mock exam feedback
Know – what went wrong!Understand – how to move forwards!Be able to – Make improvements!
The average mark on this question was 11 out of 24 and 9 out of 16
Language Mock exam feedback
Know – what went wrong!Understand – how to move forwards!Be able to – Make improvements!
QUESTION 5-‘Parents today are over-protective. They should let their children take part in adventurous, even risky, activities to prepare them for later life.’Write a letter for a broadsheet newspaper in which you argue for or against this statement.(24 marks for content and organization, 16 marks for technical accuracy)[40marks]
45 minutes

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Paper 1 feedback - The Holgate Academy