Relationship Between Wife and Husband
ImamSamehAsal
Outline
Objectives of MarriageExpectations in MarriageObligations and ResponsibilitiesSharedHusbandWifeTips for Successful MarriageCase Study
Objectives of Marriage
Take THREE (3) minutes and discuss in groups of about 4 people:What are the objectives of marriage from the human perspective?What are the objectives of marriage from theIslaamicperspective?
Objectives of Marriage
IslaamicPerspectiveWorshipAllaah(Al-Thaariyaat, 51:56)Vicegerent on earthStory ofAadam(may peace be upon him)Al-Baqarah, 2:30
Objectives of Marriage
Seeking to earnAllaah’spleasureFulfilling theSunnahof the Messenger (SAAWS)Stronger Faith“The believers, men and women, are protectors one of another…” [Al-Tawbah, 9:71]“Help you one another in righteousness and piety…” [Al-Maa’idah, 5:2]Mercy and love and affection“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has putMawaddahandRahmahbetween you; verily, in that are Signs for those who reflect.” [Al-Ruum, 30:21]“li-taskunuuilaihaa”
Objectives of Marriage
Other ObjectivesPleasure andIhssun“He it is Who created you from a single person; and (then) He has created from him his wife, in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her.” [Al-A’raaf, 7:189]ProcreationSunnahof Pairing“And of everything We have created pairs that you may remember.” [Al-Thaariyaat, 51:49]
Objectives of Marriage
Other ObjectivesFulfilling and satisfying parenthood instinctProgress and advancement of human raceStronger and healthier societyProper distribution of tasks and responsibilitiesEven animals have intricate and sophisticated societiesHoneybee, ants, termites, lions, etc.
Expectations in Marriage
Divide up into (different) groups and take about FIVE (5) minutes to discuss:What are the overall expectations from a marriage?What are the expectations from a wife?What are the expectations from a husband?Is there a difference between what ARE and what SHOULD BE the expectations in each case?
Expectations in Marriage
Differences of opinionDifferent personalitiesMiscommunication and misunderstandingsObligations and responsibilityCommitmentFamily (in-laws)Pet PeevesLove and Affection
Expectations in Marriage
Looking out for the best interest of each otherDifficultiesUps and downsRoller coasterSupportWork and other dutiesStress, responsibilities, prioritiesPersonal development and growthSukuun(peace)Libaas
Expectations in Marriage
Wife’s expectations:Someone to listen to herSomeone to love herSomeone to support herSomeone to protect herSomeone to provide for herSomeone to help her grow
Expectations in Marriage
Husband’s expectations:Someone to respect himSomeone to take care of his householdSomeone he can take care ofSomeone he can protectSomeone to love
Obligations andResponsilibities
Group Time! Take about THREE (3) minutes:What are the duties/responsibilities/obligations of spouses in general?Of the wife?Of the husband?
Obligations and Responsibilities
SharedHelp each other be better MuslimsTreat each other with respect, kindness, and compassionFulfill each other’s physical intimate needs and desiresProvide good companionshipProper understanding of the status of women inIslaam
Obligations and Responsibilities
WifeMain caregiver of the childrenObedienceAcceptance and Respect of the Husband’sQawamah
Duties and Responsibilities
HusbandMain financial supporter of familyAllaahhas made men superior and therefore accountable for thisServing and helping“A believing man must not dislike a believing women. If he dislikes one of her traits, he should remember that there are other traits that he likes.” [SahihMuslim]Proper use ofQawamahand proper fulfillment ofQawamah’sresponsibilities“Live with them (your wives) on a footing of kindness and equity. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in whichAllaahhas placed a great deal of good.” [Al-Nisaa’, 4:19]
Case Study
Divide up into (different) groups and take about FIVE (5) minutes to:Read the case studiesAnswer the questionswithin the groupShare with the rest of the group
Tips for Successful Marriage
Working together to please AllahNever go to bed with an unsettled argumentLearn that you have differencesExpress opinions in a calm wayDon’t idealize each other. Accept small mistakes as long as they don’t form behavioral problemsConsiders each other’s needs even when you don’t understand them
Tips for Successful Marriage
Help each other be better peopleCommitmentKnowing and fulfilling duties and responsibilities of each otherRealizing that marriage is a blessing and a test
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